


No

by iluvaqt



Series: Avengers ABCs [9]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Adopted, F/M, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 19:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4933159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iluvaqt/pseuds/iluvaqt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria could never have imagined how her life would play out. And she had few regrets. Yet the biggest one would be not saying no to Howard more often. Perhaps if she had, Tony wouldn't have been left an orphan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No

It was only a two-letter word. A single syllabus means of expression. Denial. Affirmative disagreement. An assertion of ones own independence. An act of self preservation. 

Maria Collins Carbonell was not used to being the center of attention. The middle child of eight children, the eldest daughter in a migrant Italian family, she was always expected to be proper, responsible and silent. Always in the kitchen learning how to cook for the family with her Nonna, she grew up, ahead of her peers in her knowledge of what was expected of a woman to be a successful wife and mother. From her father, a sort after accountant, she learned skills that found her gainful employment working for the enigmatic Howard Stark of Stark Industries, the fastest growing industrial manufacturer and innovator of their time. 

The first time she met Howard Stark, was to drop off some documents for her superior that Mr. Stark needed to review for an annual Investors address. He hadn’t even looked up from whatever contraption he’d been working on, in his office of all places.

“Just leave it on the desk,” he said, from behind his machine.

All she could see was the top of his dark head, and a pinstriped linen covered elbow as he cranked at whatever he was tightening. She would not have bothered to disturb him at all, but there was no one manning the desk outside his office. It must have been one of those occasions where he was between hires. He couldn’t seem to keep a secretary for more than a few weeks at a time. The record was four days. The last one had quit unable to cope with Mr. Stark’s eccentric habits and having to field and deflect the seemingly never ending string of calls or visits from disgruntled or persistent former trysts.

That’s what the office coffee room gossip called them. Trysts. None of the women seemed to even make a second date. She could see Mr. Stark’s appeal, he was handsome in that screen siren Clark Gable sort of way and he appeared to have charm. But having four older brothers, she’d seen them turn it on for girls, and she knew what they were like once the thrill of the chase wore off. She’d rather have someone dependable and honest, than someone who gave her expensive gifts and pretty words.

The second time she’d seen Mr. Stark had been horribly embarrassing for her, she’d been in a rush to get tax records from archives up to legal in preparation for Mr. Stark’s Supreme Court hearing after it was discovered his business associate was a Russian spy. Carrying a box that she could barely see over, her heel caught a slick on the tiled floor and she lost her footing. 

Two pairs of hands caught her before she could fall but in her misstep she’d lost her grip and dropped the box she’d been carrying right on Mr. Jarvis, Mr. Stark’s driver’s toes.

“I’m so sorry,” she uttered, her face paling. She immediately bent to retrieve the documents that had spilled out and promptly smacked heads with Mr. Stark who had gotten down to do the same thing.

He fell back on his behind and in trying to reach him to steady him, she end up landing on top of him. As she scrambled to her knees, she inadvertently put her hand and more than half her weight on his crotch in her haste to get up. Leaving him red in the face and doubled over.

Mortified, she didn’t even attempt to apologise. She didn’t have words. She didn’t even remember how she’d managed to get all those documents stuffed back into the box so quickly. She only remembered that she grabbed the carton and fled. She righted all the paperwork, and put them all in their proper folders and tried to calm her racing heart beat all the while wondering if she’d have employment tomorrow.

What followed, she could never fathom, not in her wildest dreams. Not that she could ever say that Howard had featured in her dreams as anything more than a fleeting fancy for a mysterious, unattainable, desirable man yet completely wrong for her.

::: ::: :::

“I’d like to take you to dinner? Would that be acceptable to you?”

He’d appeared at her desk on the ground floor in the tiny back offices for clerical staff and she was sure that not one phone was answered nor was another word spoken or a single keystroke made the second he’d walked through the door.

“I...I...Mr. Stark, do you even know who I am?” she stuttered, her hand clutching her pencil so tightly, she could feel lit threatening to snap in two.

He smiled enigmatically, his moustache twitching and his eyes positively sparkled as he looked her over.

Maria straightened then and held her chin high, forcing herself to remain professional and level-headed in the face of his obvious perusal of her person. 

“Ms. Collins,” he said reading her desk, name plate. “The clerk who dropped her work on Jarvis’ feet and broke his little toe.”

Her eyes widened and her hand free hand flew to her mouth. “Oh no! Please tell Mr. Jarvis, I’m so sorry. I mean I already apologised but if he needs me to cover his medical expenses I’m…”

Howard held his hand up silencing her and he shook his head. “Mr. Jarvis is covered. I don’t know you, Ms. Collins. But I’d like to. What do you say? Dinner?”

Her fingers tightened and that poor pencil couldn’t handle the pressure, it snapped. To his credit Howard didn’t flinch, but did raise an eyebrow. 

“Is that a no?” he asked, his face betraying his confusion with a touch of surprise.

Maria nodded and then shook her head, trying to get her thoughts straight. “I’m sorry. It wouldn’t be proper. You’re my boss. Well my boss’ boss. You own the company. You’re my employer and…”

“You said that already.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You said that too, several times,” he interjected, his lips twitching.

She narrowed her eyes at him. He was laughing at her. "Mr. Stark. I’m not your type.”

“You’re a woman. I’d say you’re my type.”

Maria’s mouth dropped open, the man was obnoxious and entirely too debonair for his own good. It was a wonder he didn’t have harrassment lawsuits lining his walls of his office. Or perhaps it was because this was the first time that she’d ever heard about that he’d taken an interest in someone under his employ. 

He nodded at her silence taking it as her answer, yet giving her a teasing wink that he knew something she’d didn’t. “Don’t work to hard, Ms. Collins.”

If she thought she’d seen the last of him, she was wrong. First it was flowers, then it was her favorite chocolates, how he’d discovered her weakness for spanish chocolate was a total mystery, she’d never indulged at work. She’d had to sneak a couple from her mother’s private stash that her father had imported once a year for her birthday. Her eldest brother who was in the Navy and sometimes passed by Spain got her a few boxes of her own when he could and was feeling particularly generous. 

The Opera tickets were too much, and she picked them up, marching herself up to his office on the top floor. His answering smile spoke of his confidence and didn’t even leave his face when she put them back on his desk.

“Ms. Collins, you are no longer under my employ.”

Maria felt her jaw drop along with her stomach. “I’m the most hardworking, honest, punctual…”

He waved her to silence again and she seethed while gritting her teeth. “You’re not fired. I’m transferring you. You’ll be working for a friend of mine. As her personal assistant. She thinks most men are incompetent you see. And while she seems intent on stealing, Jarvis from me, I can’t have that. So you’ll be helping a colleague with whatever she requires. Ms. Carter works for the S.S.R, and needs an aid that she can trust. I told her I have just the woman in mind.”

Maria took a steadying breath. “Will I have any say in the matter, Sir?”

“Absolutely. But I have a feeling you’ll get along famously. And on a side note, because you’re not technically working for me any longer, you’ll have to find another excuse to turn down my dinner invitation.”

Maria felt a smile of disbelief tug at her lips. “Some say you’re entirely too self-assured, Mr. Stark. It’s what gets you into trouble.”

“Dinner?”

With a deep sense of trepidation, her first inclination to remain resolute and decline, turned in a soft, and cautionary, “All right.”

Three months later, Mr. Stark was still in a harmonious and monogamous relationship and everyone was clamoring to figure out who she was, and how she’d managed to tame the serial playboy.

Honestly, she didn’t have an answer and most days, she wondered if she was really cut out for life as Howard Stark’s girlfriend, and Peggy Carter’s loyal, invisible assistant. She did anything, and everything Peggy needed. They’d become hardworking allies, and after only a few weeks of working together, had become firm friends. She’d met another of Peggy’s few friends, Angie, an aspiring actress who worked at L & L Diner and their dynamic duo became an unlikely trio. 

Angie was very good at keeping her ear to the ground and picking up information around the city through a network of wait staff she discreetly set up. 

Maria was their high society informant and mover. She used Howard’s money to acquire whatever materials they needed or was able to get them access to parties and social invites, they otherwise wouldn’t be able to acquire on their own.

And Peggy, well there wasn’t much the woman couldn’t do. She was determined, intuitive, intelligent and resourceful. Maria and Angie’s jobs at the end of the day largely involved making sure Peggy didn’t run herself into the ground, reminding the focused, driven woman that it was okay to take the night off and play snooker and cards once in awhile. And indulge in a 3-course dining experience in a private booth at 21 Club. 

There wasn’t a time when Maria didn’t stop and wonder if this really was her life. She spend most of her mornings, waking up in her fully catered suite asking herself if this was the day where the fantasy would end. 

The day he sent Jarvis to pick her up and take her shopping, she flat out refused. Mr. Jarvis explained that it was for a business dinner with a very successful French astrophysicists, whom Howard was hoping to woo into working for Stark Industries. 

Maria had baulked at the paid lodgings in the Hotel Calridge. She had been even more reluctant at accepting the checking account - entirely for Ms. Carter’s expenses and incidentals - he insisted but she would put her foot down at him purchasing her a new wardrobe.

“I will find something on my own, Mr. Jarvis.”

“I’m afraid I must insist, Ms. Collins.”

“Maria, Mr. Jarvis,” she snapped, exasperated at the umptenth time she’d tried to get him to drop the formality. He was always so very polite that she tried to ignore how stiff he could be, and she hadn't stopped feeling guilty over his toe.

He smiled at her. “I will, if you will,” he said.

Maria huffed. “Very well, Edwin. If he wants me to dress up and foot the bill, then I expect him to choose it for me.”

“Mr. Stark does not shop,” Jarvis said plainly. His discomfort over this entire conversation evident in his usually calm, unflappable persona.

“Never?” she asked skeptically. “He’s always so sharply dressed.”

“He has a personal tailor,” Jarvis supplied. “We really must move along, Ms-Maria.”

Maria pulled on her gloves and collected her bag. She picked up the receiver and dialled Howard’s number. “Darling, if you want me to dress up like a piece of arm candy, I expect you to help choose the wrapper. We’ll be at Vera Maxwell’s.” Hanging up the phone, she looked up to notice Jarivs, trying and failing to conceal a grin. “Shall we go, Edwin.”

Howard had caught a taxi from the Stark building and met them at the women’s boutique fashion house. Vera’s assistant hurried to find her boss when she spotted him outside the window.

A lot of gushing and fusing ensued. Jarvis had dropped Maria off and gone to find a spot to park the town car. Inside the store, Howard waited courteously while the shop assistants and dress makers tried to impress with their wares and themselves. He did his best to remain polite. 

Laden with more dresses than she’d ever wear in a year, Maria could hardly move inside the fitting room, much less undress and wriggle herself into one of heavier, but obviously dressier gowns. 

“How does it feel? Do you need any help?” Ms Maxwell enquired from the other side of the curtain.

Maria struggled with the small pearl buttons that ran up along her hip and gathered the skirt part of the dress, and then adjusted the shoulders, complete with padded cap sleeves to add extra shoulder width and started to work on the buttons moving up the bodice to her throat.

She finally finished with all the hooks and eyes, and loops and pearls, she shuffled out the door. “I’m not sure but it just doesn’t seem to sit right,” she said frowning at her reflection as she turned this way and that in front of the full length mirror.

Catching Howard’s perplexed expression in the mirror, she planted her hands on her hips. “You don’t like it?”

Ms. Maxwell had chosen that moment to reappear, bearing nylons of different shades and a few slips and she let out a startled noise. “Oh my…”

Maria pulled at the collar again, it seemed to be digging into her chin. She glanced down and felt her cheeks heat. “Damn and blast, I put it on the wrong way around. How is one supposed to get dressed with all these tiny things up the back? I can hardly wriggle into it when it’s only half buttoned.”

Howard couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “I think that’s where I come in, love.”

“Behave,” she said, wagging her finger at him, struggling not to laugh at her own mistake. Her practical, working class roots were showing. This was her first trip to a fashion house and she was enormously grateful she had insisted he come along. She wouldn’t know the first thing about what was classed as in or out of fashion, and what was business dinner worthy. Seems she couldn’t even tell what was the back or front either at first glance.

Vera helped her put it on the right way and to the woman’s credit, while it was amazingly heavy for a short-sleeve dress, it was very elegant. All the folds, delicate button placement and the rich red color of satin created a stunning picture. 

“I’ll have to take it in here and here, but it does compliment your figure and red is definitely your color,” Vera complimented, while pining various points along her ribs and at her back.

“We’ll take it,” Howard said, already preparing to stand, having tucked away his notebook.

“Howard,” Maria stage whispered, as the fashion designer went to bring the dress to her workshop. “I didn’t see tags on anything. How much do you think it is?”

Howard took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Not for you to worry about, darling. It’s not going to break the bank.” As she worried her bottom lip, he pinched her chin fondly. “If it makes you feel any better, I can write it off as a business expense.”

Maria hushed him with a disapproving frown and disappeared back behind the curtain to get dressed. Later in the car as they drove him back to the office, Howard took her hand.

“Marry me,” he said simply.

She blinked at him and then swatted his leg for his jest. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m serious,” he deadpanned and took both of her hands. “Maria, you know me. I’m an inventor, I live and breathe my work and you never make demands of my time...well there was today but I’ll dismiss it since I made demands on you first--”

“How magnanimous of you--”

“Don’t interrupt, I’m trying to ask you to marry me.”

She snorted, in a very unladylike fashion. “More like trying to bulldoze me like you would a skeptical party in a lucrative merger.”

“Love, I’ve lived too long as a bachelor to change my stripes. If we’d met any earlier than we did, I would have blown any chance I’d ever have of finding my life partner. But you’re my one, darling. I survived the war, lost friends, been accused of all manner of things in the years after and tried to drown out the losses in my work and booze, but you’ve given me more. You’ve shown me I’m more than just money and my inventions. More than what I can give my country. I want a family, Maria. And I want one with you.”

She squeezed his hands and glanced out the window at the city zipping by. She swallowed hard. There was no reason to think they couldn’t have that, but a tiny sliver of doubt, a fear she always carried in the face of this larger than life man, wondered if he’d leave her if she couldn’t give him everything he wanted. “What if I can’t have children?”

Howard blinked but that’s all he did. “Then we adopt,” he said with almost no hesitation.

Doubts still lingered inside her but she quieted them in the face of his earnestness and heartfelt words. She ignored her instinct to delay or even turn him down and said, “All right, Howard.”

“Jarvis,” he yelled excitedly toward the front of the car.

“Yes, Sir?”

“I’m getting married.”

“Congratulations.” You could hear the genuine warmth and pride in Edwin’s voice. He really was more of a dear and loyal friend than an employee.

Planning the wedding of the year and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, having to vet seating arrangements that looked like a who’s who of the corporate world, with a healthy dose of Hollywood celebrity thrown in, Maria wanted to run away to a small private Island and elope. Peggy had to talk her out of it. They would do it, big and public, the press would eventually get tired of gawking and leave them alone. If they eloped, it would bait them all the more and their relationship would make news for who knows how long.

Maria very much doubted they’d ever be left to live their lives out of the public eye. At least the spotlight trained on her meant that Howard’s work was left largely un-intruded upon. 

She was at Howard’s… her… their main residences when the doorbell interrupted her phone call to the wedding coordinator. Jarvis was off for the afternoon, his wife needed him home more often these days. Her health was deteriorating much more quickly. “Just a minute. I’ll have to call you again. There’s someone at the door. Thank you.”

By the time she got to unlatching all the locks and bolts and opening the security door, she watched the taillights of a black car leaving the property gates. It was then that a Moses basket on the front porch caught her notice.

A little baby, no more than a few weeks old was asleep, swaddled in a thick woollen blanket. Her heart racing in her chest, she stooped down and reached into the basket. Gingerly lifting the infant out and cradling him to her chest, she couldn't help but feel an instant tether latching around her heart. As she lifted him, a note flittered to the ground. She picked it up and read the message.

Here’s your son, Howard. The product of one night of too many martinis and who knows what else. I’m actually a success now, and I can’t raise a child. But you can. You always wanted a son. You boasted loudly that you’d raise him as your protege and teach him everything you know so that he’d be the master inventor of his generation. You didn’t want anything more than that one night from me. I didn’t want anything more from you. So take him. Good luck. - S xx

Maria let the note fall. She tried never to think about Howard’s many liaisons. Even though the rags loved to print about them all in rapid detail. 

Pain and doubt swirled in her mind. It wasn't too late to call everything off. The child chose that moment to wriggle. As she looked down at him he opened his tiny fists, flexing reaching for something, she put her index finger within the baby’s grasp. As those little fingers closed around her single digit with a surprisingly strong grip, her heart was stolen Never to remain in her care again.

“Don’t you worry, little one, I’ll be your mama.”

And just like that, all of her worries about the wedding and the future, faded in an instant. Howard had what he wanted. He had a family. And she had a child to whom she could pour all of her love and attention that often seemed wasted on her eccentric, workaholic fiance.

Over the years she had warred within herself over when to say no to Howard, but her tongue and her heart often overrode those instincts that promised a safer path, perhaps even a better one. As much as she loved Howard, adored the pride he took in Tony’s achievements and the brief moments where he was a father and a husband instead of a billionaire philanthropist and the face of an international conglomerate, she was all too aware of his many failings.

He was a hard and demanding employer. It only got more evident with age. He expected perfection from everyone but never more than what he demanded of himself. And when he failed, which was often, no one had instant success, he drank. And he drank excessively. He didn’t drink and drive, he would never put her at risk that way. She wished she’d stood up to him over a great many things in their marriage, but never more so, did she regret holding back her no then when she saw those blaring headlights baring down on them.

If only she’d said no, she wanted to stay behind with Tony before he was due to go to Prep School things could have been different. It was his last Summer with them before he’d be away for months after all. Howard might not notice his absence but she would. 

If only she’d said no, she wasn’t feeling like a week long stretch of business dinners, meetings and mingling with social climbers and having her face crack from forced smiles. 

If only they’d flown instead of driven in that light weight sports car, down winding coastal roads.

If only she’d protested that she couldn’t stand driving at night, not able to see if wild animals were about to cross into their path or if there any hazards like loose rocks, oil slicks or breaks in the road until it was too late to avoid a collision.

If only…

But she hadn’t said no.


End file.
